iop. Interviews Paul Calhoun

We’ve been intrigued by the witty posters from the “Hand Party” run by freshman Paul Calhoun. He is single-handily (no pun intended) giving iop. a run for our money, especially considering that we only have one new poster design this year. (About that — if you want to make a design, just email arthur@inflatablewhale.org and we’ll send you the logos in .svg or whatever format you want). Anyways, with his keen sense of wit and humor, he is also causing quite a stir among the RNE.   I guess the lesson learned was that you can never disparage another candidate in any way (best yet, don’t even mention the other candidates), or there will be harsh sanctions imposed on your party.  Haris Khan is running the RNE this year, and he already has the reputation of being the Stalin of the RNE. Other candidates are complaining the RNE has too much unchecked power.  I think these claims are unsubstantiated, but I tend to agree. For instance, Calhoun was forced to remove nearly all of his posters because tape from some of his signs slightly overlapped other candidate’s signs.  The sign policy is serious shit, which is why iop. recommends following it.  Heck, a few years ago some iop. officers got taken to the Dean of Student’s office over the sign policy.

Anyways, the iop. interviewed Paul to hear what he had to say about the now infamous Hand Party:

> What is the mission of the Hand Party?
— The mission of the Hand Party is to support and encourage people who have hands and are willing to use them.

> How did you come up with the name?
— I came up with the name Hand Party November 5th 1955.  I was hanging a clock when I slipped and hit my head on the sink.

> Is anyone else running on the Hand Party ticket?
—- As of this moment, no other candidates are running under our illustrious banner.

> The Hand party website is very satirical.. Are you worried it has become too satirical and people will not take it seriously? Or do you > think that it the humor has worked to your advantage so far .. and that people are tired of the uncreative posters and normal rhetoric?
—- Our internets are not satirical.  Putting your blind faith in my empty promises is all I ask.  Love is blind, and a promise is simply an emptiness to be later filled.  Blind faith in my empty promises defeats terrorism.  You don’t support terrorists do you?  I didn’t think so.  So you have to support me.  I’m anti-terrorist…

Now, while Calhoun has really gotten his name out there, due to some policy violations, heavy-handed (pun?) dealings of the RNE  have now limited his campaign, so that he is no longer able to poster on Freshman Hill or the CII/ DCC corridor.  I was considering to ask Arthur for an official iop. endorsement of  his campaign, however Arthur would never endorse an animate candidate, and the iop. needs to stand firm behind it’s proposition that inanimate objects would do a better job at governing than students. However, as Grand Poo-Bah and de-facto leader of iop., I am making a personal endorsement of Calhoun’s campaign.  In a sense, I am sacrificing matters of principle for matters of practicality. If this is confusing, so be it.  As far as I know, an full-fledged endorsement has only been done once in the past, and in that case it was an endorsement for an iop. candidate, who served as a surrogate for Arthur.  (That was an unusual circumstance, and just to be clear, Calhoun is not an iop candidate).  Also, note that I am only endorsing Calhoun, and not the Hand-Party or any other Candidates that may choice to run under it.

The reasons I endorse him:

– He made witty posters that challenged the status-quo
– I enjoyed reading his blog and he is clearly very intelligent and a true nerd. I don’t think he is the kind of person who would run merely to gain social standing or for the resume line. Rather, I feel he could represent the nerd populace well and bring creative ideas (not sure what they could actually do, but whatever) to student-gov. I don’t really know why he wants the position, actually, probably as a naive freshmen he thinks that student government actually does interesting things.
– Due to the notoriety of Arthur, this endorsement will probably hurt as well as help him, and in the balance will have negligible effects.
– His accopella videos on YouTube are really cool.
– This is mainly to spite RNE for placing such harsh sanctions on his campaign.
– His absurdism is follows the iop. spirit.

Of course, Arthur is still running for Class of 2013 President as well (along with all other positions) and you can still vote for him there.

-Akira, current Grand Pooh-Bah and de-facto leader of the iop.


One Response to “iop. Interviews Paul Calhoun”

  1. [Student name here] says:

    Again, I write to the author of this article:
    Voice Your Own Opinions Elsewhere!
    The IOP is an entity that extends far beyond your individual views and opinions; it is the incarnation of decades of student feelings towards the electoral process. Let your personal endorsements lie in public view, under your own name, where they may actually gain the weight you intend – or, suffer accordingly, if you feel the need to bury them in pseudonym.

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